Well, this is familiar...

I remember the feeling like it was yesterday.

Tending to this wee human who had been inside my womb for 42 weeks, safe and cosy.  And the moment came when the waiting ended and now they were here.  Magnificent, breathtaking vulnerability.  They were now exposed to things I could no longer protect them from.  That safety of our bond, connected by an umbilical cord was now gone.  I had to surrender to the grief that rose.  I had to let go of what was.

When folks told me that writing, creating and birthing a book felt similar to the journey with my babies, I couldn’t quite wrap my heart around it.

Until it happened.

Just like I nourished the beating hearts of those children, I poured so much love into those pages.  I am celebrating You are The Medicine being out in the world for 1 month, I have officially sunk into the post-partum phase (like folks said I would…) and this is what I’ve learned.

1.  We are cyclical beings.

And that doesn’t stop during a launch.  Toxic capitalism will always be there to push you and tempt you away from what your body knows.  My moontime came twice during this time.  I had to rest.  Podcasts and interviews were scheduled and I held compassion for myself that my energy was higher or lower at certain times.  We are not robots, we move like the oceans – our inner tides pulled by a force greater than our minds.  

It’s okay if your energy waxes and wanes.  It’s meant to.

2. You are going to care.

We can practice non-attachment all that we want and at the end of the day, when you pour your all into something, you will want it to soar.  Your creations matter and yes, while what people think about you is “none of your business”, receiving feedback from folks who are reading it with their children or telling you that they find belonging in your words matters.  It just does. Caring is human.

As you receive love from the outside, it’s an invitation to nurture it from within, too.

3. People will ask you what’s next….

and you might feel like toppling over.  When this question has come up in interviews, I freeze.  Our society doesn’t always allow for the full cycle of creation.  It’s a beautiful invitation to look back and see all that you’ve done.  It’s okay if you’re not ready to leap into the next something right away.  Integrate.  Restore.  Allow for the space you need so the next right thing will drop in. This can be hard, but what’s harder is buying into the narrative that you must keep producing in order to feel worthy.

The Great Mystery wants to dance with you, welcome it in.

4. Titrate your success.

Folks were sharing pictures of my book on the shelves in the best-seller section and I couldn’t take it all in.  After launching and expanding, my nervous system could only handle so much activation.  Even the good stuff can feel overwhelming when we don’t have the capacity to welcome the fullness of it.

I learned that little bits are okay, every day I did mini-celebrations for myself to take in the moments.  After practicing homeopathy for many years I understand how powerful titration can be. 

Little activations at a time eventually become a new beautiful energetic frequency.

5.  The post-partum stage is real.

This book baby was a dream – a seed, and then grew as a creation of love and wisdom, my ancestral whispers, direction and knowing pulsing into each word.  As it was birthed into the world  it was an intensely vulnerable and magical experience – as birth can be.  I sit here now, with the cord cut, as it now has wings and a spirit of its own. It will be held by many who will become part of the family and community to care for its essence. 

Grief and joy can exist simultaneously.

6.  It takes a village.

I remember listening to my mentor speak about reaching out to ask for endorsements and my heart immediately started to race. “You mean, I have to write this book AND ask for help?” 

Endorsements, podcast requests, shares, interviews.  I didn’t have a publicity team, which meant I had to do all the asking.  It was uncomfortable and yet as I asked the most beautiful thing started to happen.  I received all of these blessings back. Folks started coming to me to ask how they could help and uplift my voice.   

Maybe all that you’ve given over your lifetime is meant to come back to you now.  Can you receive it all?

It’s a question I sit with now, feeling the power of the village all around me, feeling the Spirit of this book and its wings.

And in this quiet, expansive pulse of the void, I surrender…

Yes.

I can.

A. xo

If you haven’t downloaded your FREE 13 Moon Ceremony Guide that accompanies my book, you can get it here:

p.s. If you would like to continue learning with me, I have a few offerings that may speak to your heart.  

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